Coping With Caregiver Burnout
Families are typically the first ones to notice that a loved one needs a little bit of extra care and because of this a family member will often step up to be their first caregiver. When a family caregiver starts to provide the extra care for their loved one, they often don’t realize the mental and physical toll it can take on them until the burnout hits.
Everyone gets tired from their day-to-day activities but when you’re constantly feeling swamped the exhaustion that catches up with you and makes it feel impossible to keep going is referred to as burnout. Burnout typically happens because of prolonged exposure to excessive physical, mental, and emotional stressors, things that are all very common for those in caregiving positions. In fact, up to 70% of family caregivers show clinically significant signs of depression; and when the final phase of life can last up to five years for some people things can feel bleak for the over 40 million family caregivers providing care to their loved ones.
While there’s not much that can be done to completely to avoid burnout, there are some things that can help.
How to recognize burnout
As with most things, burnout is going to look different for everyone. Keeping that in mind, there are a lot of common signs associated with burnout. As a caregiver take a moment to check in with yourself and consider how you might be feeling.
It starts small with irritability and feeling strained. If left to fester then a caregiver may notice changes in their eating and sleeping habits, changes that may be accompanied by unexplained weight loss. Things that a caregiver once enjoyed may hold little to no interest for them anymore and they may not even have the energy to try something new to get them out of that mental rut. They may even begin to withdraw from friends and other family members, leading to feelings of isolation and helplessness. In extreme cases the caregiver may develop an excessive use of alcohol or medications to help them cope with the stress of the job they’ve undertaken.
Keep in mind that once you begin to suffer from burnout it will only get worse if left untreated. You must take care of yourself in order to continue taking care of others and there’s no shame in reaching out for help.
What should I do if I’m suffering from caregiver burnout?
Caregiver burnout often starts with the expectations placed on caregivers from both families and they themselves and that can make it harder for the caregiver to give themselves permission to take the necessary breaks that can reenergize them. The biggest thing a burnt-out caregiver can do for themselves is to step away from the situation to rest. Asking for help is hard but it doesn’t make you a bad caregiver, caregivers are just as human as anyone else and humans need rest. Getting out of the house, visiting with friends, or even getting a massage or taking a long bath can give a caregiver a respite from the day-to-day of taking care of a loved one.
It’s also important to be honest with yourself when doing such a high stress activity. How are you feeling? Are you sleeping enough? Eating a healthy diet and getting some exercise in when you can? Is there something on your to-do list that you could ask another family member to take care of? Even if you’re the primary caregiver for your loved one, there are people that are willing to help you.
Keep in mind that you’re not the only person going through things like this. There are online and in person spaces available for caregivers to vent and get support from other people doing similar work and getting it out instead of keeping all your thoughts and emotions is infinitely healthier in the long run. With the internet it’s easy to connect to caregiving groups and gain lots of different perspectives and if your loved one is receiving hospice care it’s likely that the hospice nurses will have the resources needed for you to get in contact with some in person support groups (especially now that COVID rates are declining and more people are able to meet in person without the fear of getting their high risk loved ones sick).
If you find yourself needing a little bit longer of a break, don’t worry. There’s no shame in stepping away to take care of yourself and there are other options available to you. If no one else in the family is able to fill your shoes, then it may be time to look into bringing a hired caregiver on so that the primary family caregiver can get some much needed rest. Even if the hired caregiver only comes in to help for a week, that week can provide the primary caregiver with the rest they need to return to their position with renewed vigor. For caregivers that need a little extra there’s also respite care, short term relief for primary caregivers that can be provided in the home, at a healthcare facility or an adult day center. Respite care can be arranged for just an afternoon or up to several weeks depending on the primary caregiver’s need.
Being a caregiver, whether it’s for a family member or something you do for work, is never easy. It’s taxing emotionally, mentally, and often also physically, but for many people it’s a necessity as we get older. We can only hope that we’re not facing things alone and the good news is that, most of the time, we aren’t. Humans are more connected than ever and it’s showing us all that we aren’t alone in our struggles. If you find yourself feeling burnt-out, reach out. Take some time for yourself to rest and recharge. You’re not the only person who feels like this and you won’t be the last, but you have the resources that you need to do what’s going to be best for you and your loved one.
https://aginginplace.org/caregiver-burnout/
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-respite-care
https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiver-statistics-health-technology-and-caregiving-resources/
https://www.healthline.com/health/health-caregiver-burnout#resources-and-support
